The Nice Thing
by RisingSun13
Summary: Nabiki comes up with a brilliant idea. The only problem is... its a nice thing to do.


This is a what-if story, beginning somewhere in the middle of the Ranma time-line. It's very long and should be separated into chapters, but I'm too lazy. And it looks better this way.  
  
  
  
  
  
Yes, more Nabiki, as she's my favorite character. Most interesting, I'll say. And the most fun to write about. So, enjoy!  
  
  
  
  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters. Rumiko Takahashi does. If I spelled her name correctly. And if I didn't, I'm very very sorry.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
THE NICE THING  
  
  
  
By RisingSun  
  
  
  
Indecision and misery caused her to slump forward into her chair. She poked the plastic spoon dejectedly at her tub of Ben and Jerry's, and narrowed her eyes when the spoon bent against the frozen solidity. Standing up, she heated the carton for ten seconds over the stove, and slouched back onto the table. It's really unfair, she thought with a sigh. What did I ever do to deserve this? A list popped up in the back of her mind. A list so long that it rolled out of her head and down her spine. Click each one for more details came the heading.  
  
"Gah." She rested her head on the table and spooned more chocolate chip cookie dough into her mouth, letting the chocolate melt there rather than crunching them. Chocolate shouldn't be crunchy, she thought distractedly. And did she need distraction. For the past week it had been tormenting her, gnawing at her subconscious and dissolving the edges of her brain like the sides of the ice cream melted over the stove into a fuzzy gloop. But she could still feel the center of her mind, still shrewd and clear, sharpened by intellect and ruthlessness. Ruthlessness. She was ruthless, deliciously so, she smirked to herself. Cruel and merciless and nasty. That was why this horrible (though brilliant) idea was haunting her and turning her into a snappish, grouchy witch as opposed to the snappish indifferent witch she normally was. The idea was brilliant, a scheme only she could have devised. And it was groundbreaking and revolutionary, flawless and beautiful. Unfortunately, it also flew into the face of everything she had ever done or believed in.  
  
It was a nice thing to do.  
  
"Probably nicer than anything Kasumi's done in her life," she muttered indistinctly through the ice cream. Then she grinned ruefully. Nah, that was so obviously wrong. Kasumi was the epitome of Perfect Acts of Kindness. Or at least to everyone else. Sometimes she wondered about that girl. There was something going on there that she couldn't quite figure out. something she wasn't getting.  
  
But this wasn't time to think about Kasumi's Sneaky Ways. It was time for the carton of Ben and Jerry's and the hour of empty house she had allotted herself to mull over the problem. It was unusual for the house to be so quiet. No screams from the garden or thumps from the dojo or clicks from the Go board or bubbling pot of stew. Everyone had left the house, a first, which was the only reason why she was in the kitchen. Normally she would be tucked up in her room trying to ignore the sounds of mass destruction outside her window. But the kitchen was much more comfortable. Which was why she had exercised her supreme power and kicked everyone out of the house, so that she could think without interruption or distraction.  
  
She blew hair out of her eyes, exasperated and exhausted. Half of her was pulling her toward the affirmative decision. The other half urged her to veto, to take the opposite path. It was the devil and the angel of her conscience. But one was strong and domineering, confident in its prowess, while the latter was timid and pathetic and vulnerable, victim to years of indifference and apathy. "It's a wonder Miss Angel Feet is still here at all," the devil snapped. "According to all my calculations this haloed annoyance should be sulking in a little box behind the background scenery."  
  
To this, the angel made no comment.  
  
"Go back to the fluffy clouds you came from, there's no place for you here," scoffed the devil. "This is the opportunity of a lifetime. The last thing we need is for you to screw it up!"  
  
There was no reply from the angel, who sat very still and did not look at either of them.  
  
"Ok, see here" the devil said. "THIS is what our life work has been building up to. THIS is what we've been waiting for. THIS IS OUR BIG BREAK!"  
  
"That seems a little melodramatic to me," she said, spooning some more ice cream.  
  
"Good grief, you know what I mean." The devil's eye twitched in anger. "Come on, you know the consequences of what you do. What will happen if you do it? Your reputation, your control, your power. you know as well as anyone that once word of it gets around you'll have a hell of a time getting it all back!"  
  
"And if you don't do it?"  
  
The words were frail, a wisp of what they had been ten years ago. It was the first time the angel had spoken in a long while.  
  
Consequences.  
  
The chocolate was suddenly very heavy in her stomach. The plastic spoon stopped scraping against the ice cream.  
  
Consequences.  
  
She could barely recall an echo of a voice, lingering at the back of her subconscious. But it was there. She could not recall the words, only the voice, and the sense of stern but obvious love, which was what had carved the faded impression at the very center of her mind. And it was like she had just opened a door, turned up the heat and melted off everything else until it was only the voice, and the memories, gentle and diaphanous. She looked at the angel, and at the devil, and then back again.  
  
"Yes. I know the consequences."  
  
*****  
  
BLAM!!  
  
"Hey Nabiki, we're back!" Akane stampeded into the kitchen, flushed and excited from the excursion. "Guess what we got?" She heaved up three gigantic shopping bags, one of them already beginning to rip.  
  
"That's it? Akane, I'm disappointed in you," Nabiki chided.  
  
Akane noticed the empty Ben and Jerry's carton on the floor, unsuccessfully hidden behind the table leg. "Nabiki! You didn't.!" She trailed off when she was Nabiki's evil eye. "Anyhow. Ranma has the rest of it. Goodness, Auntie Saotome is so nice!" she exclaimed, chucking off her jacket. "She didn't complain about waiting in line, or waiting for the dressing room, and she let us buy practically the whole store!" She smiled at Nodoka, who had just come in the door. "So unlike Ranko." This was directed toward a female Ranma who was suffering under ten shopping bags, some hat boxes, sewing machines, doll houses, pots and pans, a stereo system, and other miscellaneous items. "Do y'know, we were having a great day, and then this. this." She stopped, unable to think of an appropriate abuse. "This idiot had to go and make a mess of everything!" Akane then proceeded to launch into a detailed, expletive sprinkled explanation of the day. Nabiki could make out some confusing thing about cross dressers and perverts and Maybe-Ranma-Sightings. Typical.  
  
Auntie Saotome was pouring tea for all of them, and making excuses for "dear Ranko" and explaining away the strange happenings that occurred during the outing. She's rather like Kasumi in that way, thought Nabiki. Always smiling and so sweet and kind. But we all know she isn't stupid. And we know what she's capable of, Nabiki thought grimly, visions of ritual suicide and very real very sharp swords dancing in her head. By this time, Ranma had begun to retaliate, sticking her foot in her mouth and hurling angry words she would certainly regret later. With agility and swiftness honed from experience rather than martial arts, Nabiki snitched up all of the teacups from the table just as Akane heaved the table onto Ranma's head. Surprisingly, she missed and thwacked a panda on the head just as he was entering the room. Soun came in and bent over his fallen friend.  
  
"Oh my, Mr. Panda, let me get you an ice pack!" Kasumi came rushing out of nowhere, carrying a stretcher and a first aid kit.  
  
"RANKO NO BAKA!" "UNCUTE TOMBOY!"  
  
SLAM!!!  
  
Nabiki slid the screen shut behind her and plodded up this stairs into her room. An unidentified flying cooking utensil tore through the rice paper screen doors behind her. "Dammit," she thought angrily. "I hafta go order some new screens." She was feeling a little woozy. "Must be the ice cream. I really shouldn't have eaten an entire carton, come to think of it." She flopped onto her bed and didn't bother to change into pjs before falling into a syrupy nap.  
  
*****  
  
Sunlight filtered through the cracks in the curtains and pierced through her eyelids. She could hear a bird twittering outside her window. There came a knock on her door.  
  
"Nabiki?" Kasumi stepped through the doorway. "How are you this morning?"  
  
"Morning.?"  
  
"You slept through dinner last night. I didn't want to wake you. You did look rather out of it yesterday afternoon. And Akane told me about that whole carton of."  
  
"Yeah yeah, I know." She didn't want to think about that damn ice cream.  
  
"But Nabs, a whole carton? Are you positive you're okay?"  
  
Nabiki thought about that. The slight headache from the night before was still lingering in the back of her head, but it was almost gone. Her belly was fine; most of the heavy cream had been digested during the night. Her legs were sore from sleeping in stiff jeans all night, but it wasn't anything a swift warm up exercise couldn't fix. She grinned. "Chipper than ever."  
  
Kasumi smiled back. "In that case, you'd better hurry up and get dressed and washed up and everything, because the two gluttons started demolishing breakfast ten minutes ago."  
  
"WHAT???? WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE TOLD ME THIS SOONER? WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP? AARRRRGH!!! NOW I WON'T GET TO EAT!!!!" Nabiki screeched in a very un-Nabiki-ish way. "OUT OUT OUT! I GOTTA CHANGE!!!" She pushed Kasumi out the door, and before the shell-shocked older sister had reached the top of the stairs, Nabiki came flying out of her room in her school uniform. "Move! Move!" She dashed down the stairs, almost flying as she leapt the last five steps. Just before entering the kitchen, she stopped and composed herself, combing her short hair with her fingers and straightening her dress.  
  
"Hmm, any food left for me?" She stepped into the kitchen, and stared around with half-lidded eyes. Everyone froze. Ranma-chan, in the process of squeezing the last pickled radish out of Genma's claws, swallowed visibly. "It would be such a pity if I had to go to school on an empty stomach, wouldn't it now?" She stared around the table, stony eyed, particularly focusing on the disguised Saotomes. No one made a sound. "Ah, that's to bad. My favorite pickled radish is all gone," she said wistfully, staring at the panda's paws.  
  
Ranma immediately snatched out the radish and handed it to her on a plate, trembling. Nabiki looked at the flat, pathetic vegetable and suppressed a laugh. "Oh, that's all right," she sighed. "I just have this strange aversion to panda compressed, de-juiced, limp radish. You won't mind if I don't eat it, will you Ranko?" Her eyes glinted.  
  
Nodoka broke the tense silence. "Here, Nabiki dear, you can have part of my breakfast. See, I saved you some." She held out a bowl of rice with a slice of fish on top. "It's probably not as much as you would have normally liked, but I figured that after all the ice cream last night you wouldn't be too hungry."  
  
"Why, thank you Auntie Saotome." Nabiki beamed at the nice lady, while at the same time shooting a chilly yet frighteningly aloof glare at the father- son pair-a feat that could only be accomplished by Nabiki.  
  
*****  
  
Tap. tap. tap. tap.  
  
Nabiki should have been irritated. After glancing at her watch one more time, she slung her book bag casually over one shoulder and waved over the other. "See you two later," she called cheerfully.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Um, sure, uh, bye Nabiki." Akane looked doubtful and unsure. Ranma lounged beside her on the grass, staring at the sky. "Jeez, that bozo's as slow Ryoga! Where is the moron? I need to get to class or I'll hafta hold buckets in the hall again!"  
  
Yup, "moron" is quite right, thought Nabiki as she stepped into the Faculty- Only Elevator and pressed 3. But where is Kuno? He's never late for his morning challenges. Ah well, at least I'm not gonna be late this morning from hauling him to the nurse again. As she walked down the hallway, she glanced out the window at the front yard. No sign of Mister Blue Thunder yet, and Akane and Ranma were still lounging about waiting for him. She stifled a giggle. Those two are actually waiting down there for him. It's unbelievable! she thought. They're always complaining about him and trying to get away. now they're actually. she peered out the window again as strains of "that baka. he's so slow. where d'you suppose he is?" drifted up from the front lawn. She would never understand them. Maybe they missed their morning stress relief session or something. Or something. She shook her head and accounted it as one of the weird and wacky things of life (yes, life, despite the fact that it was usually Ranma's fault they happened). Someone opened the classroom door just as she arrived, still smiling.  
  
"Hey boss!"  
  
"G'morning boss!"  
  
"Yo Tendo, I need ya t'figure something out for me, but I don't have much money."  
  
"Boss! There you are! I have the figures from yesterday's."  
  
"Uh, Nabiki, the bookstore was out of the one you wanted so how about."  
  
"Hi Nabiki! Um. Ehem. Yeah."  
  
"Nabiki! Ok, here's the deal."  
  
Usual shouts and clamoring erupted as she entered the classroom. Nabiki, still in her good mood, just smiled and blandly ignored everyone as greetings and suggestions and questions showered around her. The students parted the way for her, as she knew they would, and she headed toward her seat in the front middle of the room. Wow, this morning's pretty busy, she thought. Okie doke then, it's show time!  
  
"Nidame?"  
  
"Yes ma'am! Here ma'am! At attention! Boss ma'am! Fall in line!"  
  
"Oh, shove it. OK, Nidame, can you see if Itchiko has the orders from yesterday's brawl in the gym." She continued, dispensing orders and salutations at the same time, and under four minutes, the storm was quelled and people were back to their seats and groups, doing whatever people do before class.  
  
"12 seconds shorter than last Monday, Misuko. Is that a record yet?" Nabiki asked as she finished entering data into her notebook.  
  
"Nope. Still have two seconds to go. Sorry to disappoint ya!" She grinned and pulled up a chair next to Nabiki's desk. "But that was still pretty good. You're the Queen of Multi-Tasking, I swear."  
  
"No." Nabiki kept a poker face. "I'm the Empress of Everything. That's 'your majesty' to you, peasant girl.  
  
Misuko laughed. "You mean the Evil Empress of Everything. Extortion and blackmailing included, free of charge. Oh wait, pardon me, I meant, 'for an exorbitant fee, whether you like it or not'."  
  
Nabiki permitted herself a small smile. "I'm not all evil. As a matter of fact, I'm actually planning to do something nice."  
  
Several people nearby fell off their chairs. "NO!" gasped Misuko, clutching her heart. "I don't believe you!"  
  
A boy crawled up to them. "Is. is it really true? Is Nabiki actually planning something nice?"  
  
Misuko smacked him on the head with her notebook. "Kenji, go back to the hole you came from. Of course it's not true, stupid. And stop trying to look up my skirt!" She whacked him again, harder. He scurried away, laughing.  
  
Nabiki decided to ignore this exchange. She felt a little hurt over everyone's reaction to her declaration of philanthropy.  
  
"So," said Nidame. "As you were saying?" Thankfully, the teacher entered at that moment and cut the conversation short.  
  
"Good morning class."  
  
"Good morning Sensei", the class chorused, while settling into their chairs. The teacher glanced at the empty seat to the left of Nabiki.  
  
"Miss Tendo, where is Tatewaki Kuno? Class has begun already and I do not wish to have to mark him tardy. It will be his twentieth this semester."  
  
Nabiki regarded him coolly. "And how should I know, sir?" Or care?  
  
The teacher blanched slightly, but refused to back down. "If my memory serves me correctly, in the past it has been you who was responsible for his getting to class. Even though he was rarely coherent or conscious throughout most of the period."  
  
What??? Was the sensei suggesting that she, Nabiki Tendo, took care of that ridiculous oaf Kuno? The sensei would have to pay. "I am not responsible for anyone other than my own person, sir." She narrowed her eyes slightly, but maintained her semi-respectful poise. "No one." Not even you, especially if you end up in some disgusting gutter with your entire career humiliated out of Japan, her chilly silence added.  
  
That was enough. "I apologize, Miss Tendo," the teacher replied, with only a slight quiver to belay his incredible fear. "And. I must have been mistaken earlier. Tatewaki Kuno only has six absences, as all the other times you were so punctual in managing to bring him to the classroom. I commend you for your excellent service to this class, and to humanity. You have helped a student to gain the best education he can have, and there is no greater success in life as to have helped a fellow classmate, and you have set a wonderful example for the rest of this class. You will receive an unconditional A for attendance this semester, as well as 50 extra points on your final exam." He looked uncertainly at her.  
  
"Good." Nabiki withheld her smirk of self-congratulation, and the rest of the class suppressed surprised looks of "how the heck did she get away with that?". After all, they thought, this is nothing new for Nabiki. But the incredulity did not leave their faces.  
  
*****  
  
". So if the correlation coefficient of this graph is 0.773, then it becomes obvious that."  
  
Nabiki closed her book gently and exhaled silently. She had finished all twenty problems in the first five minutes of class and had just completed the extra credit. Now she was free to do whatever she wanted. Maybe I should talk to sensei and move up another couple of levels, she thought lazily. I already taught myself all this stuff in the first year here at Furinken. It's ridiculous. I already know more than the sensei does. She frowned at her notebook, doodling little angry faces of two x's over a line all over the margins.  
  
"Miss Tendo?"  
  
"The relationship is strong and is therefore accurate." She did not look up from her doodling, answering almost arbitrarily. It was almost frightening how little attention she had to pay in order to get the answer correct. But that meant she could concentrate on other things during class. Like where the hell was Kuno. He hadn't made his grand entrance yet and it was lunch was next period. It wasn't like she cared, but Nabiki wondered what could possibly have prevented him from coming to "health" class the period before. Y'know, the class that tells all about the human (girl's) body. Something a pervert like Kuno would have never ever ever missed. Even Happosai had made a couple appearances, scaring this morning's substitute half out of her mind (unlike normal Furinken teachers, she wasn't used to shriveled up old men jumping through windows yelling "hubba hubba" and groping her).  
  
Nabiki also wanted to know where he was because she was curious. Curious over how his absence would affect daily fight profits. She would have to send a couple girls out during lunch to find out his whereabouts. And maybe an unlucky one to the Kuno mansion. Maybe Kiyoko. She still hadn't been punished for letting slip some information about the potential date between two of Nabiki's clients. Yes, that was good. If three of the right girls couldn't find out any worthwhile information, then Kuno was in some other plane of existence with no knowledge of how he got there or how to get back. She grinned. Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea. She would have to arrange it someday. Besides, Kuno's disappearances always had such interesting reasons and consequences.  
  
The bell rang, waking her up from her day-scheme. Should she talk to the sensei about going up another few levels? Better wait it out a few more days, as she had only been in this class since last Wednesday. She slipped her books into her bag and flitted out the door.  
  
Lunch! The hallways teemed with rowdy students, and exhausted teachers, all eager for a break. As usual, there were several scuffles here and there, but Nabiki glided through the chaos without being jostled or bumped. People usually made way for her even if they all didn't acknowledge her presence. Some smiled hesitantly in her direction, and a rare few waved, but no one kow towed before her and kissed the ground she walked on. Which was all the better as she liked to get places quickly without distractions. Today she went first to the side of the gym, where her girls were congregated. Normally, the assignment meeting took place first thing in the morning with the report meeting after school. But Nabiki had had a special appointment early that morning with the student body president that couldn't wait. So the assignment meeting had been delayed till now, to her great consternation. There were a few of the regular officers to oversee the day's operations, and the five girls assigned for Monday general duty. They handled the basic after-weekend issues and basic weekday profit handling (all-inclusive). The five girls were fine for normal extortion, blackmailing, and business deals. However, for the intelligence search she would need on Kuno, Nabiki required members of a higher level, specially trained Info-seek team. She had one of the minions (how she loved that word) run to go bring Kiyoko, Unari, and Jen to her. The rest she dispensed to daily work.  
  
Yasuni, one of the officers, lingered. "Nabiki.there have been some rumors."  
  
"Yes?" Nabiki turned around sharply.  
  
Yasuni quivered ever so slightly under Nabiki's gaze. "Well. some people are saying. umm."  
  
Nabiki suppressed impatience. Yasuni was always the trembler, never could get a full sentence out without stammering. But she was the very best thief/pickpocket Nabiki had ever met, other than herself. And Gosunkugi. those two were a little to similar for comfort. So Nabiki kept her on as a pretty high-ranking officer among her troops.  
  
"Well. I."  
  
"Yasuni! YOU have something to do with it?" Nabiki mock exclaimed.  
  
"Oh no!" Righteous anger strengthened Yasuni's voice. "Of course not! I only overheard a few upperclassmen saying that you were planning to do something nice! .Oh!." She slapped her hand over her mouth as if unsure how such sacrilege could have escaped it.  
  
Nabiki did not know whether to be annoyed or amused. "I see."  
  
Yasuni blinked at the deadpanned response. "Oh, well.. Does it have anything to do with Kuno? I mean. if you are. well. umm."  
  
Now Nabiki could only be shocked. "What?"  
  
Pleased to have gotten some reaction out of her boss, Yasuni replied, "Well, you're sending out for intelligence on Kuno, I mean, could there be any other reason?"  
  
Kuno had nothing to do with it, that was for sure. But the question was whether she should encourage that idea or not. Should she squash this or let it continue? Or change its course without stopping the flow? "If you mean nice as in doing everyone a favor by getting rid of Kuno, maybe. But the nice thing I'm planning has nothing to do with him, so don't be absurd."  
  
"Oh. alright." Nabiki had a sense that Yasuni would not believe her, but she knew that she would spread the word. Everyone else would hear and believe, and that was all that mattered.  
  
*****  
  
Nabiki returned home that afternoon completely disgusted. Absolutely revolted. She sat down cross-legged by the koi pond, seething and turning over the day's events in her head. Mr. Kuno had apparently snuck into school late last night and hid in the ceiling above one of the classrooms and had been hiding there the entire day. Why? He had wanted to have a full day of only "health" class. Unfortunately, he had, in the dark, crawled above the Chemistry 2 classroom, and had a seizure when he discovered his mistake. He was currently recovering in the hospital and was expected to be "up and at'em" tomorrow morning in time for school, according to the big-lip doctor with greasy hair. That she had wasted the afternoon of three intelligent girls on that sad excuse for a human being sickened her immensely.  
  
"What's the matter? Hey, Nabiki?"  
  
She grimaced at the goldfish. "Go away Ranma. You're disturbing my fung- shui."  
  
Ranma blinked, then laughed.  
  
"I'm serious. I'm in a very bad mood and if you don't want to end up in a hospital bed next to that baka Kuno, you'd better take my advice and skedaddle." She focused her glare on the fish, and the water above it began to steam. Ranma took the hint and backed off. A little.  
  
"I'm sorry you feel bad."  
  
"I'm sure you do." Sarcasm laced the words.  
  
"I mean, Kuno doesn't deserve your attention."  
  
"WHAT????" Nabiki's demon head reared up into the sky, and a monstrous chi blast blasted the lawn, missing Ranma only narrowly.  
  
"Whoa!! I didn't know you could do that!"  
  
Nabiki blinked. "Neither did I." She looked at Ranma. "But that was pretty cool. Let's do it again!" She grinned at the sweat-dropping boy in front of her. "Just joking."  
  
Ranma smiled back. "Feel better?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Sometimes you need to just let go of your anger. Like that. It really does help, huh? But I hope you don't get that angry too often. Even I can't always move that fast, especially if I'm not paying attention."  
  
"That was on purpose???"  
  
"Heh, yah. The Kuno thing was just to push you over the breaking point, y'know? Cuz you were obviously pissed off over his freak show."  
  
"Mmm hmm."  
  
"And I figured it wouldn't be healthy for the rest of us if Nabiki walked around the house all day in a crabby mood." He looked earnestly at her, friendly mischievousness dancing in the corner of his eyes. "Right?"  
  
"Yeah." And then, "Thanks, Ranma."  
  
"What? Oh, yeah sure. It's nothin'." Gratitude he had not expected. Especially from Nabiki. It was a little scary. "Ok, well, gotta go do homework." he mumbled, and scampered off.  
  
"Not a bad kid," Nabiki murmured to herself. "Not a bad kid at all. I guess that means I'll have to go do the nice thing now. Maybe tonight." She brushed off grass stains from the skirt of her school uniform and ran her hand through her hair. "Yah, tonight."  
  
*****  
  
"Hey, d'you want me to do something for you?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"."  
  
"God no!"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"She'll kill me!"  
  
"Not if you do exactly what I tell you to."  
  
"How much?"  
  
"No price."  
  
"Yeah right. What's the price? And why should I believe you?"  
  
"No price. Just trust me. I would say I'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart, but you wouldn't believe me."  
  
"Damn straight."  
  
"Think of it a repayment."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do we have a deal?"  
  
"Umm. ok."  
  
"Remember, you have to do exactly as I say."  
  
*****  
  
The sun was setting when Nabiki knocked on the door of Nodoka Saotome's room. "Auntie Saotome? Are you there?"  
  
"Nabiki dear! You're so sweet to visit. What can I do for you?" Nodoka's voice came from inside the closet. "Come in, come in!"  
  
Nabiki, her hand resting on the doorframe, stepped hesitantly into what had been the old guest room. Nodoka stepped out of the closet. "I've just finished reorganizing." She smiled.  
  
Nabiki smiled back. "Auntie Saotome, I was wondering if we could talk for a little while. You know, just girl talk."  
  
"Of course!"  
  
"Great! How about we go down to the kitchen?"  
  
The kitchen was empty, and the table was cleared of the dinner dishes. Nabiki poured two cups of tea as she knelt across the table from Nodoka.  
  
"Well, what do you want to talk about?"  
  
"Auntie Saotome.. What do you consider 'manly'?"  
  
"What??" Nodoka exclaimed, placing her teacup on the table. (I've been hearing that word a lot today, thought Nabiki absently.)  
  
"I mean, how you want your son Ranma to be. You will force him to commit seppuku if he isn't manly enough, correct?"  
  
"Well, yes."  
  
"Then in that case, we should be perfectly clear as to the definition of "manliness", if his life and his father's life are at stake, yes?"  
  
"Yes, of course. But I don't see how."  
  
"Well, I'm going to see if Ranma meets your standards. I want to know if it is safe for him to come home." Nabiki delivered this, not unkindly, but severely and quietly.  
  
"Oh. alright. well. he should be strong.. and the best martial artist in the world."  
  
"Strong?" Nabiki stared straight into Nodoka's eyes. "He has defeated three headed dragons, three headed Indian gods, evil panda scroll demons, evil possessing demons, numerous martial art challengers, and perverted bokken-wielding idiots to boot. Does he pass strength and ability?"  
  
"Well."  
  
"And he has learned hundreds of powerful techniques even though they have hurt him greatly in the process."  
  
"Alright." Nodoka was in a bit of a shock. She had a hard time believing that Nabiki, the middle daughter of her husband's best friend was interrogating her about her hopes for Ranma, the dear boy. But, she figured, it was a good idea, and a good plan. It would give her a better sense of what her son was like, and set her standards for him straight. She decided to give it her all. "How smart is he? How does he do in school?"  
  
The truth, the truth. "Well, he's smart enough to keep his grades a secret." Laughter. "But he has excellent logical skills, and he can use his brain in the face of danger. A lot of his fights were won through his quick thinking and incredible speed and bravery. A lot of people cannot and will never be able to do that."  
  
"Hunger. What's his appetite like?"  
  
"He eats more than his father." That was an easy one.  
  
"Impressive. Looks?"  
  
"Gorgeous. Nothing like his dad. He's got dreamy eyes and windswept hair and a cute smile and the best bod I've seen on a guy. And trust me, I've seen a lot." Only Nabiki could hear the stifled snort from the ceiling. God give me strength.  
  
"Umm. attractiveness to women?"  
  
"Do you mean how much they like him? Well, he's got four official fiancés who are absolutely smitten with him, in addition to several other unofficial ones."  
  
"I meant. "  
  
"How perverted is he? Let me tell you, Auntie, he's there every time Akane heads for the bathroom." Another strangled sound from the ceiling almost cost Nabiki her poker face.  
  
A thought crossed Nodoka's mind. "Does Ranma cross-dress?"  
  
Oh dear. Nabiki decided it was time to retake control of the conversation. She had known that the subject of Ranma's dual gender would have to come up eventually. That was the point of the conversation; all the other issues were moot, compared to this one. Nabiki took a deep breath. Maneuvering this particular course would require all of her skill, delicacy, and dexterity. She said a short prayer, and continued.  
  
"Auntie Saotome, I have a question."  
  
Nodoka, aware that the cross dressing question had not yet been answered, nodded her head slightly.  
  
"Have you ever been cursed?"  
  
"No. ."  
  
"Well then, have you ever heard of the Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo in China?"  
  
"Are those the ones where you are cursed if you fall in one?" Nodoka could not see the point of this conversation.  
  
"Yes. If you fall in, you assume the shape of whatever creature drowned there last. Hot water turns you back to your original form, but cold water will reverse it any time."  
  
"That's horrible! How could anyone bear to live like that?"  
  
"They must be very strong. And it is obviously not their fault, right? If they fall into a spring?"  
  
"Of course not! No one would ever choose such a fate."  
  
"So they cannot help what they turn into, correct?"  
  
"Absolutely."  
  
"So. what if they turned into someone of the opposite gender? Would they still retain their 'manliness' of 'femininity'?"  
  
". Well. yes."  
  
"Was that a definite yes?"  
  
"Yes. Yes, of course. Oh! Nabiki! You don't mean.?"  
  
Here it was, the moment of truth. Nabiki braced herself.  
  
"YOU TURN INTO A MAN?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"No, mother, I turn into a woman." Ranma swung down from the ceiling and landed beside Nabiki.  
  
Silence.  
  
Nodoka. Wide eyed. The cup slips from her fingers. The crash of porcelain and splatter of tea.  
  
Oh Ranma, I told you to wait. I told you to wait. Only five more seconds and the understanding would have reached her heart. Ten more seconds and I would have confirmed her thoughts. Twenty seconds and I would have consoled her and convinced her of your manliness. Twenty more seconds. And it would have been over.  
  
But the madness continues.  
  
"Ranma?" Nodoka stood up on shaking legs. Ranma crossed the length of the table to help her.  
  
"Yes, mother, I'm here."  
  
"OH RANMA!!!!!" The mother collapsed her son's arms.  
  
Sobbing. Tears of. joy? Could it be? Did the nice thing come true? The tea cup is so cold between my fingers.  
  
"Ranma! I've missed you so much!!! Don't ever go away again!!!" Yes, it had to be joy.  
  
The dam had broken and the water which had been held back so long poured through the floodgates. And I'm drowning.  
  
*****  
  
The sun had set several hours ago, leaving a multitude of brilliant stars in its path. The moon quivered in the koi pond. The fish nibbled at the moon.  
  
She perched on the top step of the porch, hugging her knees. It wasn't really cold out, but the girl had wrapped herself tightly in a large grey sweater. The buttons were pale wood, and the collar was soft as she pressed her face into it. She inhaled the familiar scent that pervaded the wool, and realized that it was softly fading away. It was leaving and there was nothing she could do about it. Time was taking it, and time was the only thing she could not bribe or blackmail.  
  
She blew her bangs out of her face. She no longer waited for someone to brush them away. Time had taken that too. A breeze rippled the surface of the pond, wrinkling the moon. She wrinkled her nose along with it. A voice echoed in her mind. "You look like a bunny rabbit!" Old habits die with old phrases. A tear got halfway down her cheek before it was wiped away with rough wool. "Stupid" she muttered to herself. "What's there to cry about? Everything's turned out fine." She scowled into her arm.  
  
Another memory wafted towards her on the breeze.  
  
"Jeez! What was all that downstairs for?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Ranma, there are two people in this room who will never see there mother again, no matter how hard they try, or no matter how hard they wish. And your mother is downstairs and you don't want to see her!"  
  
Silence.  
  
"I'm not going to take advantage of this situation. Just. try to be with you mother as much as possible before it's too late."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Wow, I didn't know Nabiki missed mom as much as I did."  
  
Of course Nabiki didn't miss mom as much as you did, Akane. She couldn't afford to. And now that she can, she's discovered that she doesn't remember how to feel. So mock her to her face. I don't care. I don't care.  
  
.The End.  
  
  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Wow, that was a really sad ending. Ranma didn't even say thank you or anything, but it didn't seem to fit in. I had started with the idea that, heck, Nabiki could have solved Ranma's problem with his mother any time if she felt like it. So I started to write a scenario where she hashes it all out with Nodoka Saotome. And then I realized that the important part of the starting idea was "if she felt like it". Nabiki could have figured out ten hundred ways to go about successfully breaking the news to Ranma's mom, but it would be so hard for her to decide that that was what she wanted to do. It was more a struggle with herself than with Nodoka. And there was that element of her mother's death that pervades all Nabiki fanfiction. Yes, I included that too. I hope you all figured that out. And I hadda have Kuno in here. Can't have Nabs without Kuno! (Though he wasn't really in the story, but ok). Maybe I'll write a N+K fic someday. So here's my "Nabiki solves everything except her own problems" story. Hope everyone enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing. Please, lots of C&C!!!!! I know it was sort of unorganized and confusing, so I expect a lot of reviews!!!! 


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